Hetalia Random One-shots
by Yami-no-Oujo
Summary: A bunch of random,crazy, probably crappy one-shots that my friends and I shall write. I may also add some of our country OCs in just for the fun of it and I will be taking all kinds of request, let's just keep this thing rated T am I right? Only slight yaoi couples/hinted pairings fo the ones that I approve. Enjoy!
1. Hockey

**AN: I decided to make a story dedicated to short random one shots! It's just gonna be random stuff I come up with but if you want(and by that I mean PLEASE) go ahead and recommend things for me to write about. Plots, items, characters, genres-whoever/whatever you want the chapter to be about. I do not support yaoi but for the sake of the fans I may accept couples/hinted pairings such as SweFin, GerIta, Spamano, USUK, FRUK, and others that I don't really remember. Pretty much anything besides SwitzerlandxAustria or... like ChinaxRussia-I couldn't really write anything for them.**

**Disclaimer: le me does not own le Hetalia :P**

* * *

"I'm sooo bored~!" America whined, slumped over on his couch with a video game controller in hand.

"Well what do you want to do?" Canada asked him in a whisper, pausing their game and startling his brother.

"Whoa! Dude, when the hell did you get here?!" He asked in shock.

"...I've been here, playing video games with you for the past hour..." He whispered, hiding his disbelief and aggrivation.

"Oh...I thought I was playing the com." America shrugged. "Whatever. What do you suggest we do?" Canada questioned, trying to ignore his brother's infinite stupidity.

"I dunno...entertain me!" The American laughed, poking him in the side of the head repeatedly.

"And how do you suppose I do that?" Canada asked, annoyed.

"Let's go play somethin'!"

"We were just playing video games..."

"Let's play baseball!"

"Hell no."

"... Football?"

"American football? No. Let's play hockey." Canada grinned.

"Hockey? Eh I guess so...but if it's boring you have to entertain me and _I_ get to pick what we do next!" America laughed cockily as they exited the house.

* * *

"Agh! OH MAN MY FACE! OW! DUDE , WHAT THE HELL?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HIT THE FREAKING PUC SO DAMN HARD!" America cried clutching his bleeding eye and broken glasses in one hand and his probably internally bleeding side.

"How does it feel, ass hole?! Ha ha ha! That'll teach you, you stupid American!" Canada laughed in his typical quiet voice.

"Huh? I-I couldn't hear y-you man..." muttered America weakly.

Canada just looked at him, dropped the hockey stick and walked away whispering curses at his dumb brother.

* * *

**AN: Ha ha I'm so mean, I just think he'd eventually get pissed and want pay back, am I right? My friend loves Canada but she kinda hates America so I hope she likes this where as I love both of them. This is my first time writing one-shots so I'll try to update soon, whenever I get ideas and I'm always accepting requests so R&R! Sayonara~!**


	2. JB and 1D

** JB and 1D**

* * *

_**Baby, baby, baby, ohhh**_

_**Like baby, baby, baby, nooo**_

"Oh God no!" America shouted, punching his computer violently.

"W-what's wrong, Al?" Canada asked.

"Dude that Beiber kid you sent over, he's turning my place into the United States of Fangirlism!" He shuddered.

"Oh...You mean Justin...sorry, he's your problem now." Canada snickered quietly, walking away.

"That's just cold man..."

* * *

"Iggy! Not you, too!" America cried to England.

England sighed, putting down his tea and his book. "What is your problem now, America?" he asked.

"Listen to this crap!"

**_If only you saw what I could see_**

**_You'd understand why I want you so desperately,_**

**_Right now I'm lookin' at you and I can't believe_**

**_You don't know-oh oh,_**

**_You don't know you're beautiful!_**

"One Direction? What about them?" The annoyed Brit questioned

"This boy band from _your _country is fangirling up my place! I mean come on, first Canada, now you? You guys really hate me, don't you?" America asked all emo-like.

England took another sip of his tea before answering. "Indeed." He continued to read his book, ignoring the depressed American.

* * *

** AN: Because Justin Bieber is from Canada and I recently found out 1 Direction is from the UK so I thought to myself "Man Canada and England must really hate America to be sending them these gay pop stars and boy bands..." I was also inspired from something my friend Kumiko Akimoto quoted to me, "America: Hey Canada we need to talk about the Justin kid you sent over... Canada: He's your problem now." something like that. I mean absolutely NO offense to JB or 1D fans, I have nothing generally against them, I just don't really like them like so many other peopl do and I'm _pretty sure_ Justin Bieber isn't gay, a lot of people just assume that but I find it funny. Also an addition to my evil Canada ideas, I guess xD.**


	3. Pepper Spray

Liechtenstein came home from school and Switzerland walked up to greet her, "Hey Lili, how vas scho-,"

"I have a right to defend myself as a woman! No means no!" She screamed, spraying him in the face with a bottle of pepper spray.

"Ahh! Vhat the hell is wrong with you, Liechtenstein?!" Switzerland shouted, rubbing his eyes frantically.

"O-oh sorry, bruder...I just came from Women's Defense class," Liechtenstein said apologetically.

~Earlier~

"Ladies, look to your right and to your left," The teacher said. Liechtenstein obediently looked to her right side and her left. Canada was on her left and Russia on her right. "Statistics show that both of those men will rape you."

Her eyes widened and she looked at both of them nervously.

"I won't rape you," Canada assured her.

Russia looked at her and nonchalantly said, "I might."

* * *

**AN: Really short, I know, so sorry. Anyways, I was watching the episode of Family Guy last night where Stewie and Brian go to college 'cause Brian never finished and when he greeted that lady and she maced him xD. I was gonna write "...spraying him in the face with a can of mace," but it rhymed and I didn't wanna seem stupid 'cause it reminds me of this thing my little sis learned at school, "In yo face with a can of mace," lol.**


	4. Texting

**Texting**

* * *

Vash was sitting at a world meeting, bored and annoyed as ever when he felt his phone vibrate. When he checked it he'd seen it was a text from Lili.

_**How could you?**_

_**I trusted you and you cheated on me!**_

He looked at the phone a moment, trying to process what he was reading when he got another text.

_**Oh, sorry bruder. That was meant**_

_**for Peter.**_

He understood that she hadn't meant to text him and said,

_**Oh.**_

After a moment he reopened his phone and texted her again.

_**On a completely unrelated topic,**_

_**have you seen my shotgun**_

_**anywhere?**_

And as soon as that meeting ending a little boy got shot in the face.

* * *

**AN: And that's how Sealand got shot in the face :3. Because I saw this funny picture and I immediately thought of Liechtenstein and Switzerland, and Sealand because I've heard of SealandxLiechtenstein, not that I have anything against the pairing.**

** Here's the picture if you wanna see it, imgres?start=198&hl=en&tbo=d&gbv=2&biw=1311&bih=593&tbm=isch&tbnid=p_RfiEsfQK3yzM:&imgrefurl= /dad-of-the-year/&docid=VJ2EZtVztpCyGM&imgurl= &w=620&h=576&ei=qiXlUJ7kI4X28wSy-ICwCQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=582&vpy=100&dur=2523&hovh=216&hovw=233&tx=145&ty=239&sig=100068255516498311855&page=9&tbnh=146&tbnw=157&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:200,i:7**

**Sorry. It's stupid. It's short. But I had to write it. And kudos if you did like it! Anyway, updating's been slow with this fic, huh? And I only have like, what, 3 one-shots? Well on that note, R&R(read and review), F&F(favorite and follow), becuase they will get better! I promise! Actually...I don't promise, 'cause then if they don't get better that makes me a lying douche...as a matter-of-fact, they won't get better 'cause by saying they'll get better I'm probably jinxing it, so I don't promise that they'll get better 'cause they won't. Wow that'd have to be the stupidest shit I've ever typed...well until next chapter, adieu~!**


	5. Fish

**Fish**

* * *

Seychelles was walking up the steps to England's house to visit him. He'd called her earlier saying he had caught another cold and was taking the day off to rest. Seychelles immediately dropped everything she was doing, which wasn't much, and rushed to her boyfriend's aid. Taking the spare key from under the mat she rushed inside and into his bedroom, in a flash of light on her knees clutching his hand lovingly.

"Oh Arthur you look terrible! Don't worry, I'm here now, you're not alone!" Seychelles cried, caressing his hand dramatically.

"Oh Seychelles, I'm so glad y-you came," England smiled weakly, his raspy voice and coughing making it hard for him to speak. He tried to sit up and face her but a rush of pain hit him and he collapsed back on to his pillow, coughing and resting an arm over his scorching forehead.

"Don't move, you'll hurt yourself!" She warned, tucking him in and putting a hand on his hot cheeks, flustered from illness. "Oh no! You're burning up!"

"I'm fine love, don't worry about it," said the tired Brit, trying to reassure her.

"No no, you have a horrible fever, I'll be right back!" She exclaimed, patting his hand and rushing into the bathroom, back only a moment later with a cold rag to put on his throbbing skull.

"Thank you love," England smiled, feeling a bit better.

"Now you stay here and get some rest, I'll go make you some soup," grinned Seychelles.

"Arthur you're soup's ready darling," Seychelles sang gleefully, coming back into the room with a porcelain bowl full of thick, dark, chunky liquid.

"Uhm...I-I'm not hungry dear..." England said nervously as the foul bowl was displayed directly under his stuffy nose, his empty stomach growling in denial.

"Oh nonsense Arthur, this will make you feel better! Eat up," The sweet, caring nation insisted, lifting a full spoon to his unconsciously tightened lips. "It's filled with fresh plants and sea food," she smiled cheerfully. _Well it certainly seems...fresh enough... _England thought to himself. If he didn't know any better he would have thought that raw fish head had blinked at him.

"S-Seychelles, love...you know I love you but um...your cooking isn't...well...the best," He informed her cautiously, having the new-found strength to sit up and rub her arm comfortingly.

"...what?" She asked, a bit discouraged. "But I mean...your cooking is horrible darling...mine can't be _that_ bad," Seychelles said, frowning at him sadly, shock hitting the Brit's face and he straightened up on the bed, his headache mostly gone, ignoring any remaining pain.

"MY cooking is horrible?! Where did you even get that fish, my bloody backyard?" England asked defensively.

"I'll have you know this is all fresh from my island! At least my cooking isn't always bland and burnt!" Seychelles replied, slamming the bowl down on the night stand, sloshing it around a bit.

"My cooking isn't bland!"

"Everyone else agrees with me!"

"Even America prefers my food over yours!"

"That's it!"

* * *

"Oh Seychelles, how was your day with Britain, mon cheri~?" France asked as the short, tan girl huffed inside, arms in fists at her sides, a huge fish in her right one.

"It was horrible papa France! I tried to make him feel better and he said _my_ cooking was bad," pouted Seychelles, crossing her arms and plopping down next to her guardian.

"Aww that is a shame, what did you do?" He asked with genuine concern, though not much of it.

"Well...we got in an argument...and then, I hit him with my fish..." She replied, eyeing the...unique weapon in her hand.

"Well that seems fair enough," France chuckled lightly.

* * *

**AN:Yea...I don't know. I got a request for EnglandxSeychelles, which is supposedly a crack pairing, I knew it was a pairing just not crack *shrug* So anyway it was supposed to be a fluff and I tried to do that at the beginning but..um...that hapened. I just know that Seychelles is an island and she likes fish and whatever, and Iggy is a real bad cook, so I kinda thought of them fighting over their different cooking styles, even though they're both bad, but I don't really think Sey is a bad cook, just did that for this chap. This might be my longest one-shot so far btw...that is all, i guess. Well until next chapter, adieu~!**


	6. AN

**AN: Ok so currently I'm sort of, kinda grounded from the computer and all electronics for an undetermined amout of time, soo I won't be posting anything anytime soon...also, someone had requested a Kiku x Lili fic, and honestly I have never once thought, heard of, or considered that pairing but I thought it was very cute and they said that they could talk about technology, so I considered it, thought about it, and tried to write it. And failed. I honestly have not written one word that could be used for them and I just can't so I woulld like to sincerely apologize for failing you, Ayumi Kudou ;n;**


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